Lauren Brownlow

Brownlow's offseason Twitter mailbag debuts!

Posted April 20

London Perrantes (32) during pregame warmups. UVa routs Hampton 81-45 during the First Round of the NCAA Tournament in Raleigh, NC on March 17, 2016.

Just because the football and basketball seasons are over doesn't mean the content beast ever sleeps, people. I only exist to feed the beast. And what better way to do that than by doing something that I also enjoy? And that's answering YOUR sports and life questions in a way that combines information with fun and sass.

So don't be shy, everyone! Please, submit your questions to me every week on the old Twitter dot com machine and you might make yourself famous!

Let's get to it!

Shoutout as well to @3Dbforeitwaship for asking a similar question. His was "why does Dave Gettleman hate us", but that's going to take more characters than I have space for here.

As you all know, I am not only Lauren Brownlow, but I am also @SadPanthersFan. That "sad" designation often emcompasses many of my other emotions that I feel while watching the Panthers: shame, self-loathing, anger, jealousy, futility, etc. I used to not feel that way about the Panthers' personnel moves, but the last few years have sort of shaken my confidence on that front (although I did like the Kawann Short signing - nice to finally let that money under the cap stop collecting dust!).

As a Panthers fan, I also know that at any moment when you think things are on the right track, said track can suddenly disintegrate and the train ends up a broken, smoldering mess on the ground far below the track and everyone is dead and okay I probably took that too far for a metaphor for the Jimmy Clausen experience, but you get my drift.

Even if I haven't been completely on board with some of the personnel moves made (or not made), I have generally liked GM Dave Gettleman's draft picks (and strategy of taking the best player available). Not all of the picks have worked out, and the verdict is certainly still out on his last two drafts, but overall I'm a fan. Still. Barely.

HOWEVER...

I refuse to let myself get excited about the idea that the Panthers might draft a sexy pick at No. 8 that will benefit the offense in any real way. Not because it couldn't happen. But because if it doesn't, I'll find myself disappointed. Whether it's OJ Howard, John Ross or Christian McCaffery, I've found myself talked into thinking any of the three could be just the weapon Cam Newton and this offense needs. And so this way I won't be disappointed when instead, Gettleman and the Panthers select Random Defensive End From MEAC School. Sure, it might work, but I don't have to be happy about it. I don't get to be happy anymore.

There's debate on Twitter as to whether the hashtag #goacc - all in lowercase, it's important to note - is even relevant anymore. Once Clemson won the national title in football and the ACC dominated bowl season mere months after basketball did the same in its postseason, how is a self-deprecating hashtag designed for ACC fans to poke fun at themselves relevant? Maybe it isn't.

It's probably fitting that the actual night that #goacc supposedly died, this happened:

God, it's so beautiful.

If #goacc is still alive, though, it was probably best and most fittingly exemplified by this moment, when London Perrantes' would-be game-winning lay-up attempt died on the back rim in Blacksburg back in February.

Speaking of #goacc...

First of all, very sorry to hear that you'll be leaving us. I've enjoyed interacting with you on Twitter, BennJeff, which is how I know you. I've had plenty of you come up to me and introduce yourself with your real name, see that lack of recognition on my face as I smile politely, only to then sheepishly clarify with your Twitter handle. As embarrassing as you being like "I'm 'StateFanFoSheezy' on Twitter" might have felt, it instantly lets me recognize you. Especially if I interact with you a lot, I'm going to remember you by your Twitter handle, especially if it's distinctive.

Honestly, the best way to follow ACC hoops from afar, in my opinion, is through Twitter. I used to host a morning radio show and I was pregnant during most of said stint, so I was not staying up to watch a lot of 9:00 games. (I don't do that now as much as I did pre-baby, either, but that's neither here nor there.) I did, however, wake up the next day and immediately start my Twitter feed from where I left off. Meaning, of course, that I got a Twitter-centric recap of the action I missed, because I follow all the people I need to in order to get the full experience. Beat writers, fans, everyone. That's helped me a lot.

Here's the other thing, BennJeff - because you're on the west coast now (I'm assuming), you don't even have to worry about staying up late! So you could stream the end of the 7:00 NC State-Wake game at like 6:00 your time on your phone and not be subject to the weird WatchESPN/ACC Network Xtra blackout restrictions! That's one benefit for you - you'll probably have access to any and all streaming content you'd like now.

Good luck with everything, and as always, if you have a more specific question about what time a game is on, ask me. I will respond with this.

I hear that California is lovely, and I'd love to visit someday. Knowing nothing of whether you've been to California or know anyone out there, I'll just look at which location is more desirable. Since I know that as a Notre Dame football fan, you won't be enjoying any of the football being played in either game. I KID! (Kind of?)

So one game is on November 11 (at Miami), the other is on November 25 (at Stanford) - the latter is on Thanksgiving weekend. Rough travel time, to be sure. But maybe the benefits will outweigh the costs (literal and figurative)?

According to Weather Underground, which the weather people assure me is totally a real site and not related to the cult, the average high in Palo Alto on November 25 is 61 and the average low is 40. On November 11, the average high in Miami is 82 and the average low is 69.

SO THE AVERAGE LOW IN MIAMI IS HIGHER THAN THE AVERAGE HIGH IN PALO ALTO.

Go to Miami, lay on the beach with the family (or without, whatever), enjoy the football and a chance to get a big Coastal Division win and don't waste another second booking that flight. Don't say I never did anything nice for you, @WojDaGawd.

Ooh, a lifestyle question! I did encourage these. I've always wanted to give advice to people, even if I'm totally unqualified to give it. Which would make me, I guess, no different than most people who give it.

As someone who recently went through all the ups and downs that come with preparing to have a baby, the naming thing is hard. You'd be surprised at how often grown adults don't take "We're not sharing the name with people until he's born," for an answer and continue to try to guess. "IF I GUESS, WILL YOU TELL ME?!" No. And stop asking. What are you, 12? Good grief.

That was how my husband and I chose to approach it because we didn't want to have people - most especially, family members - offering unsolicited advice about the name we chose, thus making us second-guess it. And that's what you find yourselves encountering now, Mr. Falco, because people are actually the worst.

Oh, and another thing that comes with name-sharing? Name-STEALING. This happened to me recently. If I ever have another boy child, I will still be angry that this person I chose to share one of our favorite baby names with stole it.

So the best way to avoid the annoying questions is just to not tell anyone at all. You could always switch back to that, although it sounds like that horse has left the barn.

And, to be fair, you're going to have to explain it once the baby is here anyway so might as well get a head start so you're not having to do it while you're running on two hours of sleep in the early going and trying to avoid biting your great aunt's head off with "WOW WHAT AN ORIGINAL QUESTION NO ONE HAS EVER ASKED WHAT HIS NAME MEANS BEFORE!"

Hope that helps! Best of luck!

Until next week, Twitterati.

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