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The Olympic$ Shimmy Sham, by ML

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  • davidvanwagener Nov 29, 2:19 p.m.
    Veteran

    This was my favorite line: "I don't know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the crime in the street and the lousy hockey."

    Nice equivalency.

  • mortonlipschitz Sep 28, 2:33 a.m.
    Pro

    I just realized this thread has the most views in the entire Hurricanes forum.

    Here comes the confetti! Balloons! This is too much. So many people to thank....where do I begin? edits, jgunn, kennywalters, devilishhockeygirl or whatever. Who am I forgetting? korn something. bpayne, evenflow. Sham Ward. Bathroom Staal, Rid Brind'aless. But most of all...I couldn't have done this without you. Our bestest buddy and big toe, Jim Rutherford.

  • mortonlipschitz Apr 7, 1:48 p.m.
    Pro

    hi everybody!

  • heelman73 Apr 5, 2:20 p.m.
    Sports Legend

    What kind of idiot would resurrect this thread?

  • edits Apr 5, 2:15 p.m.
    Sports Legend

    Morty, point taken.

  • The Dire_Wolf Mar 24, 4:41 p.m.
    Sports Legend

    ^ Wow, I guess one of the side effects of marijuana really is paranoia. That was a hilarious read though. We all have those days when we think the world is going to end and we need to start stockpiling on guns and food and build a fortified compound out in the woods and become survivalists.....oh wait maybe not.

  • mortonlipschitz Mar 24, 3:32 p.m.
    Pro

    Morton! Where in the world did all of this come from? I don't think I have ever see more than... View More

    — Posted by edits

    Edits, I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression. Everybody's out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel's worth of Hurricanes souvenirs, banks are going bust, shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter. Punks are running wild in the street and there's nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there's no end to it. We know the air is unfit to breathe and our food is unfit to eat, and we sit watching our TV's while some newscaster tells us that today we had fifteen homicides and sixty-three violent crimes and the Hurricanes lost again, as if that's the way it's supposed to be. We know things are bad - worse than bad. They're crazy. It's like everything everywhere is going crazy, so we don't go out anymore. We sit in the house, and slowly the world we are living in is getting smaller, and all we say is, 'Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster and my TV and my steel-belted radials and I won't say anything. Just leave us alone."

    Well, I'm not going to leave you alone. I want you to get mad! I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to riot - I don't want you to write to your congressman because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. I don't know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the crime in the street and the lousy hockey. All I know is that first you've got to get mad. You've got to say, "I'm a HUMAN BEING, dammit! My life has VALUE!"

    So I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell, "I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"

  • edits Mar 18, 11:17 a.m.
    Sports Legend

    Morton! Where in the world did all of this come from? I don't think I have ever see more than one to five liners from you. Are you really upset about this? If you are, don't be. None of us should knock any time off of our lives over things or circumstances of which we have no control.
    I personally don't think the Olympics were rigged and I don't really care. I had a good time watching them none the less.

  • mortonlipschitz Mar 8, 2:57 p.m.
    Pro

    If my name was wormwood33 I would not change it.

    Say, I would like to thank all the readers who've emailed me privately with words of encouragement. I love hearing from my supporters...."Schitz Heads" as I affectionately refer to them.

  • wormwood33 Mar 2, 5:53 p.m.
    Sports Legend

    If my name was Morton Lipschitz I would change it..........to Elmo Lipschitz.

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