Joe Ovies

Losing is winning because America is awesome

Posted June 26, 2014

Winning or losing is all one organic mechanism, from which one extracts what one needs. Sometimes when you win, you really lose. For America, sometimes when you lose, you really win.

Germany defeated the United States 1-0 to win Group G in the World Cup, but America still advanced to the next round thanks to Portugal defeating Ghana 2-1. Both the United States and Portugal ended group play with four points, but the awesomest country on Earth was even awesomer in goal differential.

Mind blown, yet? That's math all up in your face, 'Merica! So grab your Capri Sun, snag your gluten-free snack and bite into that orange wedge, kids, we're moving on.

And our the best darn German who coaches America, Jurgen Klinsmann, has a message for all you haters.

America is so awesome that Portugal’s Cristiano Ronaldo wanted to see our country advance to the knockout stage of the World Cup. In fact, he owed it to the United States after he assisted on the tying goal in Sunday's crippling draw. Ronaldo's game-winning goal against Ghana became of the greatest heel-to-face turn of all time.

United States men's national soccer team goal keeper Tim Howard should also receive a Medal of Freedom from President Barack Obama. The highest civilian honor is the only appropriate way to reward him. Lady Liberty stood a little taller with every save in front of Germany.

Get on the bang wagon, fine citizens. This is the land of opportunity and our national team is about to spread freedom all over the Sweet 16 in Brazil. Exercise your rights to bear arms and flash the red, white and blue. Soccer is now American as apple pie.


Please with your account to comment on this story. You also will need a Facebook account to comment.

Oldest First
View all

    View quoted thread

    ovies is educated but is hardly a pofessional

  • akrafty1 Jun 27, 2014

    So we can’t just support our team and enjoy the world cup event? We have to tear something down just because it’s not one of the "big three" sports? Maybe instead of ripping the sport and the fans that follow it, you could educate the general public on how things work in this type of tournament... I expect more than this from an educated professional.

  • dave437 Jun 27, 2014

    what a flaming pile of feces this article was....

  • Hwy_1LeftLaner Jun 27, 2014

    Evidence of another sports writer forced to eat crow, after all their persistent skepticism prior to the group of death rounds. That's right Joe, keep up the sarcasm and satire of American spirit and optimism as a means to cope with your pessimistic predictions to U.S. Men's Soccer


    get some glasses that fit yo head !!


    View quoted thread

    get your wittles feeling hurt

  • Doc Holliday Jun 27, 2014

    View quoted thread

    That's a little misleading regarding GB. They were one of the favs going into the 2010 season. AR was coming off back to back 4000 yard seasons and he sustained a concussion which hurt the Packers. The Packers just needed AR to play up to his capabilities and he did in the second half of the season. I get what Fuzzter is saying. Generally, when you have to back in, that's not the way you want to go in. If it's back in or go home, commence to backing....

  • Hammerhead Jun 27, 2014

    View quoted thread

    By "backing in" a team has to be in position in the first place, meaning that they had to have won some games to get there. It's the way the season plays out. Green Bay made the NFL playoffs 4 years ago because a few unlikely things happened and they won the Super Bowl. Maybe we should just give the trophy to the team with the best record and do away with playoffs altogether then (your logic). All the US did was advance, they've won nothing yet, they've made the "playoffs" is all. There will be one champion at the end, just like every other sport. The US is getting better, but is not at an elite level yet.

  • Macan Abbot Jun 27, 2014
    user avatar

    So losing is the new winning in this country? Great, so when we lose the next game we will come home champions of the world! Here's your trophy. This article is an embarrassment to true athletes and competitors. I guess it's not that surprising when so many kids playing soccer are told they won after they lose 15-0.

    Do they other countries view losing as winning? I don't think Brazil thinks that way, or any other team in the tourney. Winning is winning. Period.

    And to the poster who pointed to other ways teams back into playoffs of other sports, when they do so they come in without momentum. Are you saying it's okay to back in rather than win in? That's simply ridiculous.

    Losing is not "awesome." Neither is the US team.

  • Doc Holliday Jun 26, 2014

    View quoted thread different than any other pro sport. There are clear favs in all sports...just filling slots in certain situations. (ex. Bobcats)




  • Premier League Soccer: Crystal Palace vs. Burnley

    Saturday at 12:30 pm on WRAL-TV

  • NHL Playoffs: Teams TBD

    Saturday at 3:00 pm on WRAL-TV

  • NHL Playoffs: Teams TBD

    Saturday at 8:00 pm on WRAL-TV

  • NFL Draft Coverage

    Thursday at 7:00 pm on 99.9 The Fan

  • NFL Draft Coverage

    Friday at 7:00 pm on 99.9 The Fan

  • NHL Hockey Playoffs

    Saturday at 3:00 pm on 99.9 The Fan

NHL Scoreboard
Wednesday, Apr 26
Nashville 5:00 PT6:00 MT7:00 CT8:00 ET0:00 GMT8:00 5:00 MST7:00 EST4:00 UAE (+1)20:00 ETNaN:� BRT
St. Louis 
Edmonton 7:30 PT8:30 MT9:30 CT10:30 ET2:30 GMT10:30 7:30 MST9:30 EST6:30 UAE (+1)22:30 ETNaN:� BRT
1C. Kerr-20F
2tI. Chun-17F
2tS. Jang-17F
2tL. Ko-17F
5A. Sharp-16F
6S. Ryu-15F
7tA. Jutanugarn-14F
7tS. Lewis-14F
9tC. Clanton-13F
9tD. Kang-13F
View Full Leaderboard
Shenzhen Intl (EURO)
1B. Wiesberger - z-16F
2T. Fleetwood - y-16F
3tG. Bourdy-15F
3tR. Fisher-15F
5tF. Zanotti-14F
5tD. Lipsky-14F
5tD. Frittelli-14F
8tT. Jaidee-13F
8tT. Olesen-13F
8tA. Levy-13F
View Full Leaderboard
z = Won in Playoff   y = Lost in Playoff
ATP Scoreboard
Monday, Apr. 24
Barcelona Open (ATP)
First Round
K. Edmund6 6    
J. Chardy3 4    
A. Seppi6 6    
M. Ymer4 3    
D. Evans64 6 77   
T. Monteiro77 2 62   
Y. Sugita6 6    
T. Robredo4 3    
M. Granollers77 6    
M. Jaziri63 3    
G. Garcia-Lop4 4    
A. Montanes6 6    
R. Albot2 2    
C. Ruud6 6    
N. Almagro6 6    
S. Diez3 4    
K. Anderson2 77 6   
C. Berlocq6 64 3   
Hungarian Open (ATP)
First Round
S. Darcis6 2 2   
D. Dzumhur3 6 6   
D. Medvedev0 5    
L. Djere6 5    
(6) P. Lorenzi6 7    
M. Kukushkin4 5    
M. Klizan6 6    
M. Marterer2 3    
(7) V. Troicki6 6    
E. Donskoy1 2    
WTA Scoreboard
Monday, Apr. 24
Istanbul Cup (WTA)
First Round
(8) A. Petkovic6 0 3   
D. Yastremska3 6 6   
D. Kovinic63 3    
M. Sakkari77 6    
Porsche Tennis Grand Prix (WTA)