Joe Ovies

Mario Kart Ranked

Posted June 3, 2014

Super Mario Kart for Super Nintendo

Mario Kart is serious business.

Don't be fooled by the happy smile on Mario's face or the joyful hollering from Toad. The kart racing series from Nintendo creates a competitive fire inside kids and adults alike. Bringing up "Mario Kart 64" in casual conversation will spark memories of late night college dorm room tournaments and controllers thrown to the floor after getting stung with a red shell.

You thought Kobe Bryant's "death stare" was cold? Check out Luigi giving another driver the business. 

Because everything eventually turns into a list or power rankings, Mario Kart is not immune. Here's how I'd rank the games.

Mario Kart Super Circuit

8. Mario Kart: Super Circuit (Game Boy Advance)

Updated 2D sprites and the original Super Mario Kart tracks available in a portable package sounds great, but the actual execution came up a little short. Super Circuit's biggest issues are related to the Game Boy Advance itself. Colors are washed out and the controls are too loose.

Mario Kart Wii

7. Mario Kart Wii (Wii)

Considering Mario Kart Wii is the best-selling version of the game, it might be jarring to see it ranked this low. Blame the Wiimote steering wheel. Despite the addition of new gameplay wrinkles like bikes, the motion controls made the game a little too casual and somewhat easy to unlock everything in the game. Mario Kart Wii is also the first time the series started to look stale, but the blame once again falls on the hardware.

Mario Kart DS

6. Mario Kart DS (Nintendo DS)

A very polished portable edition of the series with added modes to keep players occupied, but the real pull of Mario Kart DS was the introduction of online multiplayer through Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection.

Mario Kart 7

5. Mario Kart 7 (Nintendo 3DS)

In retrospect, this game feels like a testing ground for Mario Kart 8. Nintendo added kart customization so players could squeeze out the best lap times and gliders changed course dynamics for the first time since Mario Kart 64.

Mario Kart 64

4. Mario Kart 64 (Nintendo 64)

Nostalgia is tricky. In our minds, this should be the greatest Mario Kart of all time. Expect the years have not been kind to the second game in the series. The computer controlled characters essentially cheat through "rubber banding" and Nintendo was still figuring out driving through 3D space. What keeps Mario Kart 64 near the top is its superior 4-player split-screen battle mode.

Mario Kart Double Dash

3. Mart Kart Double Dash (GameCube)

What it lacks in circuit variety it, Mario Kart Double Dash makes up for it with a twist on driver strategy. Instead of one character who drives and holds onto a single power up, the karts are equipped for a swappable passenger who can hold on to another power up. Want to save a boost mushroom or red shell? Just switch drivers and pick up another power up down the road. For some reason, Nintendo hasn't dusted off this feature since.

Mario Kart 8

2. Mario Kart 8 (Wii U)

Take the best elements of the previous Mario Kart games, bring the visuals up to modern standards, refined controls and throw in deceptively addictive replay highlight sharing. Now Nintendo has a game that might actually get folks to buy a Wii U system, even if the battle mode isn't up to par.

Super Mario Kart

1. Super Mario Kart (Super Nintendo)

Yes, the original from 1992 still gets it done today and really shouldn't be compared to the other games in the franchise. The 2D pixels and "Mode 7" gimmick make this less of a driving game and more about pure timing skills. Drivers are rewarded for well placed jumps and drifts, rather than a reliance on power ups such as stars and shells.

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  • Hammerhead Jun 5, 2014

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    Joe spends 15 hours a week on the air snarking and trolling. He's nowhere near 63.

  • Carolina Moms Love Wolfpocalypse Jun 5, 2014

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    Don't listen to these Philistines, Joe. Mario Kart is to video games what the Beatles or Rolling Stones are to rock music - timeless! My 65 and 66 year old parents bought a Wii a few years back just because they tried Mario Kart at my place and were instantly hooked.

    This brought up some fun college memories of Mario Kart 64 battles in Bragaw Hall and at Wolf Creek Apts. about 11 years ago, and yes indeed, many a controller did pay the price for a poorly-timed red or blue shell.

    Thanks for a fun article, and let the trolls go back under their bridges and leave the video games to the rest of us!

  • Dr. Smooth Jun 5, 2014

    Let me guess... average age of these commenters... 63?

  • Hammerhead Jun 5, 2014

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    I guess it depends on how you define fun...and funny.

  • Joe Ovies Jun 5, 2014

    Judging by these comments, y'all really hate fun.

  • Hammerhead Jun 5, 2014

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    I wonder why it's on the WRAL sports myself.

  • dave437 Jun 5, 2014

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    right, but who over the age of 15 thinks about Mario Kart?

  • Hammerhead Jun 5, 2014

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    He's painted himself into a corner. Everyone needs a schtick. See Guy Fieri.

  • dave437 Jun 4, 2014

    Ovies doesn't miss a chance to show what a dweeb he is

  • storminnorman Jun 4, 2014

    Somebody has a little extra time on their hands. Slow sports day I guess

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Scoreboard
Local
Final
CHA 104
LAL 103
Final
GT 49
UNC 81
Final
CLEM 61
NCSU 66
7:30pm Tonight
BRK
CHA
 
8:00pm Tonight
DUKE
WAKE
 
Final
DET 15
BAL 2
 
Final
MIA 7
MIAFLA 1
 
Final
PHI 5
NYY 5
 
Final
BOS 2
NEASTERN 1
 
Final
TOR 7
PIT 8
 
Final
CIN 10
CLE 0
 
Final
OAK 9
SFG 4
 
Final
BOS 1
BOSTONCOLL 0
 
Final
ARI 4
ASU 0
 
1:05pm Today
BAL
DET
 
1:05pm Today
ATL
NYM
 
1:05pm Today
NYY
PHI
 
1:05pm Today
PIT
TOR
 
3:05pm Today
LOS
CWS
 
3:05pm Today
CLE
CIN
 
3:05pm Today
TEX
KAN
 
3:05pm Today
SFG
OAK
 
3:05pm Today
SEA
SDP
 
3:05pm Today
MIL
WMIL
 
3:10pm Today
COL
ARI
 
7:05pm Tonight
MIN
UMIN
 
Final
CLE 110
BOS 79
Final
CHA 104
LAL 103
Final
NYK 86
SAC 124
Final
ATL 104
HOU 96
Final
MEM 82
UTA 93
Final
CHI 97
WAS 92
Final
DEN 106
MIL 95
7:00pm Tonight
ORL
PHO
 
7:30pm Tonight
BRK
CHA
 
7:30pm Tonight
TOR
CLE
 
7:30pm Tonight
BOS
UTA
 
8:00pm Tonight
MIN
DEN
 
8:00pm Tonight
NOP
DET
 
8:00pm Tonight
MIA
LAL
 
8:00pm Tonight
HOU
MEM
 
8:00pm Tonight
OKC
PHI
 
8:30pm Tonight
SAN
SAC
 
10:30pm Tonight
GSW
MIL
 
10:30pm Tonight
LAC
POR
 
Final
UMO 70
AKR 63
 
Final
NAVY 56
ARMY 52
 
Final
BST 60
EMICH 67
 
Final
BUT 54
GEOR 60
Final
IND 63
IOWA 77
Final
FLGC 81
JVU 63
 
Final
USCU 90
KNST 54
 
Final
BGU 80
KSU 81
 
Final
NKENTUCKY 73
LIP 76
 
Final
HC 62
GHND 45
 
Final
RUTG 50
MD 60
Final
GT 49
UNC 81
Final
BUF 93
OHIO 66
 
Final
ALA 74
MISS 82
Final
DAY 75
RIU 59
Final
CMICH 85
TOL 77
 
Final
DET 77
YOUNG 67
Final
UNF 81
STET 67
 
Final
ABCHRIST 83
HOUB 71
 
Final
NDAK 78
NEOM 80
 
Final
NILL 65
WMICH 63
 
Final
ILLCH 60
WRST 57
Final
MIZZ 63
AUB 61
Final
UGA 64
KENT 72
Final
NW 82
MICH 78
Final
CLEM 61
NCSU 66
Final
UF 66
TEXAM 62
Final
KU 76
WVU 69
Final
CREI 72
VILL 76
12:00pm Today
PBY
LONG
 
2:00pm Today
GWEBB
CAMP
 
6:00pm Tonight
UNCA
LIB
 
6:00pm Tonight
PSU
OSU
 
7:00pm Tonight
USB
BING
 
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FORD
DUQ
 
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GMAS
GWU
 
7:00pm Tonight
UNH
HART
 
7:00pm Tonight
STJOE
LAS
 
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Terriers
LIU
 
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GTDNS
MAINE
 
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LOU
ND
 
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SHU
PROV
 
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BRY
SHU
 
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MORE
SEMIZ
 
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MNTER
RFLSH
 
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LSU
TENN
 
7:00pm Tonight
SFLA
UCF
 
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VERM
UMBC
 
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RMU
WAGN
 
7:30pm Tonight
UMASS
RICH
 
8:00pm Tonight
TULA
HOU
 
8:00pm Tonight
YALE
HOW
 
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PITT
MIAMI
 
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TXPA
NMST
 
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MSU
PURD
 
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STLU
BONA
 
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DUKE
WAKE
 
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TULSA
CIN
 
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VANDY
MSST
 
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EILL
SIUE
 
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MARQ
STJ
 
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OKST
TCU
 
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UCLA
USC
 
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WYO
UTST
 
10:00pm Tonight
FRES
AFA
 
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SJST
BSU
 
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NEB
 
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OREG
 
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SDST
 
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HAW
UCSB
 
Final
PHI 2
CAL 3
Final
NJD 3
NAS 1
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CLB 3
WAS 5
Final
TAM 3
BUF 0
Final
FLA 2
TOR 3
Final
MIN 3
OTT 2
Final
DAL 3
NYI 2
Final
ARI 1
ANA 4
Final
VAN 2
SJS 6
Final
EDM 2
LOS 5
7:30pm Tonight
WIN
OTT
 
8:00pm Tonight
DET
NYR
 
10:00pm Tonight
ANA
MON
 
10:00pm Tonight
COL
PIT