Joe Ovies

Mario Kart Ranked

Posted June 3, 2014

Super Mario Kart for Super Nintendo

Mario Kart is serious business.

Don't be fooled by the happy smile on Mario's face or the joyful hollering from Toad. The kart racing series from Nintendo creates a competitive fire inside kids and adults alike. Bringing up "Mario Kart 64" in casual conversation will spark memories of late night college dorm room tournaments and controllers thrown to the floor after getting stung with a red shell.

You thought Kobe Bryant's "death stare" was cold? Check out Luigi giving another driver the business. 

Because everything eventually turns into a list or power rankings, Mario Kart is not immune. Here's how I'd rank the games.

Mario Kart Super Circuit

8. Mario Kart: Super Circuit (Game Boy Advance)

Updated 2D sprites and the original Super Mario Kart tracks available in a portable package sounds great, but the actual execution came up a little short. Super Circuit's biggest issues are related to the Game Boy Advance itself. Colors are washed out and the controls are too loose.

Mario Kart Wii

7. Mario Kart Wii (Wii)

Considering Mario Kart Wii is the best-selling version of the game, it might be jarring to see it ranked this low. Blame the Wiimote steering wheel. Despite the addition of new gameplay wrinkles like bikes, the motion controls made the game a little too casual and somewhat easy to unlock everything in the game. Mario Kart Wii is also the first time the series started to look stale, but the blame once again falls on the hardware.

Mario Kart DS

6. Mario Kart DS (Nintendo DS)

A very polished portable edition of the series with added modes to keep players occupied, but the real pull of Mario Kart DS was the introduction of online multiplayer through Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection.

Mario Kart 7

5. Mario Kart 7 (Nintendo 3DS)

In retrospect, this game feels like a testing ground for Mario Kart 8. Nintendo added kart customization so players could squeeze out the best lap times and gliders changed course dynamics for the first time since Mario Kart 64.

Mario Kart 64

4. Mario Kart 64 (Nintendo 64)

Nostalgia is tricky. In our minds, this should be the greatest Mario Kart of all time. Expect the years have not been kind to the second game in the series. The computer controlled characters essentially cheat through "rubber banding" and Nintendo was still figuring out driving through 3D space. What keeps Mario Kart 64 near the top is its superior 4-player split-screen battle mode.

Mario Kart Double Dash

3. Mart Kart Double Dash (GameCube)

What it lacks in circuit variety it, Mario Kart Double Dash makes up for it with a twist on driver strategy. Instead of one character who drives and holds onto a single power up, the karts are equipped for a swappable passenger who can hold on to another power up. Want to save a boost mushroom or red shell? Just switch drivers and pick up another power up down the road. For some reason, Nintendo hasn't dusted off this feature since.

Mario Kart 8

2. Mario Kart 8 (Wii U)

Take the best elements of the previous Mario Kart games, bring the visuals up to modern standards, refined controls and throw in deceptively addictive replay highlight sharing. Now Nintendo has a game that might actually get folks to buy a Wii U system, even if the battle mode isn't up to par.

Super Mario Kart

1. Super Mario Kart (Super Nintendo)

Yes, the original from 1992 still gets it done today and really shouldn't be compared to the other games in the franchise. The 2D pixels and "Mode 7" gimmick make this less of a driving game and more about pure timing skills. Drivers are rewarded for well placed jumps and drifts, rather than a reliance on power ups such as stars and shells.



10 Comments

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  • Hammerhead Jun 5, 2014

    View quoted thread


    Joe spends 15 hours a week on the air snarking and trolling. He's nowhere near 63.

  • Carolina Moms Love Wolfpocalypse Jun 5, 2014

    View quoted thread


    Don't listen to these Philistines, Joe. Mario Kart is to video games what the Beatles or Rolling Stones are to rock music - timeless! My 65 and 66 year old parents bought a Wii a few years back just because they tried Mario Kart at my place and were instantly hooked.

    This brought up some fun college memories of Mario Kart 64 battles in Bragaw Hall and at Wolf Creek Apts. about 11 years ago, and yes indeed, many a controller did pay the price for a poorly-timed red or blue shell.

    Thanks for a fun article, and let the trolls go back under their bridges and leave the video games to the rest of us!

  • Dr. Smooth Jun 5, 2014

    Let me guess... average age of these commenters... 63?

  • Hammerhead Jun 5, 2014

    View quoted thread


    I guess it depends on how you define fun...and funny.

  • Joe Ovies Jun 5, 2014

    Judging by these comments, y'all really hate fun.

  • Hammerhead Jun 5, 2014

    View quoted thread


    I wonder why it's on the WRAL sports myself.

  • dave437 Jun 5, 2014

    View quoted thread


    right, but who over the age of 15 thinks about Mario Kart?

  • Hammerhead Jun 5, 2014

    View quoted thread


    He's painted himself into a corner. Everyone needs a schtick. See Guy Fieri.

  • dave437 Jun 4, 2014

    Ovies doesn't miss a chance to show what a dweeb he is

  • storminnorman Jun 4, 2014

    Somebody has a little extra time on their hands. Slow sports day I guess

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