WRAL Sports Fan

New Jokes Thread

I know there is plenty of material out there. I'll start it.

My wife told me to go get some of those pills that will give me an erection. You should have seen her face when I threw some diet pills at her.

RE: New Jokes Thread

I know there is plenty of material out there. I'll start it.

My wife told me to go get some of those pills that will give me an erection. You should have seen her face when I threw some diet pills at her.  

- Posted by tommybrownnc

hahaha...nice one

unfortunately all of my jokes will probably get me kicked off of here due to the political correctness police. you can't even type i d iots on here without getting flagged. so sad...

RE: New Jokes Thread

I know there is plenty of material out there. I'll start it.

My wife told me to go get some of those pills that will give me an erection. You should have seen her face when I threw some diet pills at her.  

- Posted by tommybrownnc

hahaha...nice one

unfortunately all of my jokes will probably get me kicked off of here due to the political correctness police. you can't even type i d iots on here without getting flagged. so sad...  

- Posted by buckets112

No need to type it. They wear badges.

RE: New Jokes Thread

Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. (Winston Churchill loved them)
1. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

2. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

3. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

4. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

5. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

6. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

RE: New Jokes Thread

Met a woman the other night at a bar, We got along great so I asked her if she wanted to go to my place. She said do you have cable? I told her the ropes were strong enough.

RE: New Jokes Thread

LOL...my barber told me one today when we were talking about smoking and drinking...he was relaying that he was addicted to smoking, and i asked if there was something like anabuse(for alcohol) that would make smokers sick when they smoke....he didnt know, but he said he gave up drinking a long time ago, and it wasnt a problem...i asked why the difference....he said drinking always gave him a case of the handcuffs!!

RE: New Jokes Thread

Newest joke around....sportznut.

RE: New Jokes Thread

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5 year old shout from the back seat, "Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!

Hollywood Squares:

Q: Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?

A: Paul Lynde: Loneliness! The audience laughed so hard it took 10 minutes of the show!

Q: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for it's sex?

A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him my car, the rest is up to him.

RE: New Jokes Thread

Life is all about azz,
you are either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, or behaving like one.
Or you live with one.

RE: New Jokes Thread

Life is all about azz,
you are either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, or behaving like one.
Or you live with one. 

- Posted by Dreamchaser

Bad day? lol

RE: New Jokes Thread

Life is all about azz,
you are either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, or behaving like one.
Or you live with one. 

- Posted by Dreamchaser

Or you're abusing it with exotic fruit......or random kitchen appliances..or bowling balls or...ok I'm done. Alright one more, or with cacti.