banner

Jokes

Return to Forum

Please to add a comment.

Oldest First
  • PackFanUpInHere May 16, 2014
    Towel Boy

    View quoted thread



    Lol

    It's a "pansy thang".

    :)

  • KT smakt your mother May 15, 2014
    Towel Boy

    View quoted thread


    It's "bon qwee qwee"

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZkdcYlOn5M

  • Misanthropic Lycanthrope May 15, 2014
    Towel Boy

    View quoted thread



    Actually, while you are here, I have a question for you, Bon Qui Qui. How do you pronounce your name? Is it "Bon Kee Kee," or "Bon Kwee Kwee"?

    I ask because, until last year or so, I was under the impression that the name Marquise would be pronounced "Mar-keese," seeing as how the word marquis is pronounced "mar-kee." Much to my amazement, it seems the "correct" pronunciation of Marquise is "Mar-kweese." Very interesting...

  • TarheelDynasty May 15, 2014
    Towel Boy

    View quoted thread



    Yeah....but don't you know it cracks up the 'necks that work with Pack-O-Lips down at the farm supply "dee-poe". Only spray-painting slurs in the "Free Expression Tunnel" amuses that trash more.

    ohboy.

  • Super Hans May 15, 2014
    Rookie

    View quoted thread



    That is quite possibly the dumbest "joke" I've ever heard.

  • Misanthropic Lycanthrope May 15, 2014
    Towel Boy

    A UNC* fan, a Duke fan, and an NC State fan are walking on the beach when the UNC* fan stumps his toe on a metal oil lamp stuck in the sand. He whines and cries for a minute or so, in typical UNC* fan fashion, then picks it up. "Hmm... wonder if there's a genie in there?" says the UNC* fan. The State and Duke fans snicker, and the Duke fan says "why don't you rub it and find out, genius?" The UNC* fan immediately does so, and to the State and Duke fans' amazement, a genie pops out!

    "Told ya so," says the UNC* fan in a typical smug, nasal, UNC* fan voice. The genie says "Hello, gentlemen. You have freed me from centuries of imprisonment in my lamp. I will grant you three wishes, as a display of my gratitude."

    "I found him, so I get all three!!!" whines the UNC* fan. The genie frowns at the petulant child of a man and says "Um... well... that's not very fair. I shall grant you one wish each."

    The UNC* fan whines, "Fine! But I go first. I'm sick and tired of us UNC* fans being scattered all over the country, and having to work for those bossy Duke and NC State fans. I want us all gathered up in Chapel Hill, where we can have a country of our own!"

    The genie looks a bit perplexed at the stupidity of the UNC* fan's wish, but must grant it. Instantly, the UNC* fan vanishes, and is transported to Chapel Hill, where UNC* fans now have their own sovereign country.

    The Duke fan grins and says "Ok. Build a wall around it so they can't get out." The genie grants his wish, and an enormous stone wall 1000 feet high instantly surrounds Chapel Hill.

    The NC State fan grins even bigger and says, "Excellent. Now fill it to the brim with water."

  • Misanthropic Lycanthrope May 15, 2014
    Towel Boy

    How many former UNC* "student athletes" does it take to change a lightbulb? It better only be one; I'm not paying them to socialize.

    How do you get a former UNC* football player to leave your front porch? Pay him for the pizza.

    Four UNC* "student-athletes" are riding in a car - who is driving? A police officer.

    Some Duke fans have trouble spelling "Krzyzewski." Almost all UNC* fans have trouble spelling "Smith."

  • KT smakt your mother May 15, 2014
    Towel Boy

    How many UNC football players does it take to change a light bulb? Only 2, but they each get 3 hours of credit.

    The psychology professor had just finished a lecture on mental health and had proceeded to give an oral quiz to the freshman class.

    Speaking specifically about manic depression, the professor asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"

    A young man in the rear of the room raised his hand and answered, "The kerliner basketball coach!"

  • PackFanUpInHere May 15, 2014
    Towel Boy

    Lol

    #SwahiliFTW

    :)

  • Guitarzan May 15, 2014
    Towel Boy

    dook and state had a football game to determine the once and for all who was the best and brightest. The game was played in a field next to a railroad track. It was a scoreless tie late in the fourth quarter when a train passed and blew its whistle. The state players thought that was the end of the game and walked off the field. Four plays later dook scored.

  • KT smakt your mother May 15, 2014
    Towel Boy

    What do kerliner and the Titanic have in common?

    Both were sunk by Icebergz

  • KT smakt your mother May 15, 2014
    Towel Boy

    Form Image

  • PackFanUpInHere May 14, 2014
    Towel Boy

    View quoted thread


    #Perfect

    Typical.

    :)

  • KT smakt your mother May 14, 2014
    Towel Boy

    Did you hear kerliner got a new defensive coordinator?

    Johnny Cochran

    How do they separate the men from the boys at kerliner?

    With a crowbar.

  • KT smakt your mother May 14, 2014
    Towel Boy

    How do you get to chapped hole from Raleigh?

    West till you smell it, north till you step in it

  • KT smakt your mother May 14, 2014
    Towel Boy

    Roy asked last year's starters to be his pallbearers. He wanted them to let him down one last time.

  • Gonzo May 14, 2014
    Veteran

    one of my favorites..

    How many UNC grads does it take to change a tire?

    Two. One to hold the drinks and one to call his daddy.

  • KT smakt your mother May 14, 2014
    Towel Boy

    How are NC State fans and kerliner fans alike?

    Neither went to kerliner.

  • KT smakt your mother May 14, 2014
    Towel Boy

    What do you call a kerliner fan with half a brain? Gifted.

    Did you hear that Royis dressing only 7 players for the ACC this year? The rest can dress themselves.

    How many UNC grads work for the Psychic Network? None. They can't talk about the future...they only talk about the past.

    Did you hear that Nike is coming out with a new shoe in March called "The Final Four?" The special feature has no Heels.

    Can you name the one good use for a UNC diploma? By placing it in the windshield of your car you are eligible for handicapped parking.

  • KT smakt your mother May 14, 2014
    Towel Boy

    View quoted thread


    Ah so you consider NC STATE your rival. Very telling.

  • Gonzo May 14, 2014
    Veteran

    UNC fan goes to Carter-Finley to watch a game. While in the parking lot, he notices a big group of State fans in a big circle chanting, "13!...13!...13!" He can't see what's going on inside the circle, and curious, he goes over and starts to push his way through the crowd. He finally pokes his head through to take a look, and gets poked right in the eye with a sharp stick. The crowd starts chanting, "14!...14!...14!'.

  • Super Hans May 14, 2014
    Rookie

    NC State athletics.

  • KT smakt your mother May 14, 2014
    Towel Boy

    5) A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good Duke joke?"

    The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a Duke grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a Duke grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's a Duke grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"

    The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

  • KT smakt your mother May 14, 2014
    Towel Boy

    You got jokes about rival schools? Post 'em here.

    1) Why doesn't the UNC football program have a web site? They can't put three w's back-to-back.
    2) What's the difference between Tarheel football and frosted flakes? Frosted flakes know what to do in a bowl.
    3) What is the difference between a UNC fan and a three-week-old puppy? Eventually the puppy will stop whining.
    4) What is the only sign of intelligent life in Chapel Hill? Raleigh - 25 miles
    5)

Oldest First
  • PGA: Zurich Classic of New Orleans

    Today at 3:00 pm on WRAL-TV

  • CBSB: Duke vs. Virginia Tech

    Today at 1:00 pm on 99.9 The Fan