WRAL Sports Fan

RE: Jokes

A UNC fan takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time.

After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game.

Oh, I really liked it, she said, but I just couldn't understand though why they were beating each other up for 25 cents.

Suprised, the boyfriend asked, what do you mean?

The blonde girlfriend replied, all they kept screaming was: "Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!" 

- Posted by grasshopperrtp2

You left out a word. A UNC fan takes his blonde Duke girlfriend to a football game for the first time :)

Jokes

After Unc plays Duke,Unc will have so many players on the disabled list the team bus can park in a handicapped space

Jokes

A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a Unc baseball game.

For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands.

When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well. As the National Anthem started.......the doctor yelled, "Up Nuts" And the patients complied by standing up.

After the anthem ...he yelled, "Down Nuts". And they all sat back down in their seats.

After a home run was hit, the doctor yelled, "Cheer Nuts". They all brokeout into applause and cheered.

When the umpire made a particularly bad call against the star of the home team, the Doctor yelled, "Booooo Nuts!!!" and they all started booing and cat calling.

Thinking things were going very well. The doctor decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge.

When he returned, there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, the doctor asked," What in the world happened? "

The assistant replied, "Well, everything was going just fine till a vendor passed by and yelled PEANUTS

RE: Jokes

Wojo stormed into Coach K`s office and demanded a raise right then and there.

"Please," protested K, "you already make more than Collins and James combined."

"Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," Wojo blustered. "Look."

He went out into the hall and grabbed Zoubek who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered.

Twenty minutes later Zoubek returned, sweaty and out of breath.

"You're not there, sir," he reported.

"Oh, I see what you mean," conceded Coach K, scratching his head. "I would have phoned."

RE: Jokes

After Unc plays Duke,Unc will have so many players on the disabled list the team bus can park in a handicapped space 

- Posted by grasshopperrtp2

That could happen before the game and Carolina would still win.

Jokes

Two boys were playing football in Cary when one was attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.

A reporter who was walking by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Duke Blue Devils' fan saves friend from vicious animal," he starts writing in his notebook.

"But, I'm not a Duke fan," the boy replied.

"Wolfpack' fan rescues friend from horrific attack," the reporter starts again.

"No, I'm not a Wolfpack fan either," the boy said.

"Then what are you?" the reporter asked.

"I'm a Tarheel fan." replied the boy.

The reporter turns to a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Tarheel fan kills family pet."

RE: Jokes

St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball. Satan proposed a game that would be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the Heavenly Host and the devil's own hand-picked boys.

"Very well," said the gatekeeper of Heaven. "But I hope that you realize that we've got all the good players and the best coaches."

"I know, and that's all right." Satan answered unperturbed. "We've got all the umpires."

Jokes

A game warden stops a duck hunter at the end of a days hunt and asks to check his birds. The hunter says sure go right ahead. The warden picks up the first duck puts his finger up it's behind and smells it and says, "This is a Utah duck. Do you have a Utah license?" The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his Utah license.

The warden picks up the second duck puts his finger up its behind, smells it and says, "This is a Wyoming duck. Do you have a Wyoming license?" The man shows him his Wyoming license.

The warden then picks up the third duck sticks his finger up its behind and says, "This here is a Colorado duck. Do you have a Colorado hunting license?" The hunter shows him his Colorado hunting license.

The game warden says, "You sure do carry a lot of hunting licenses with you. Where you from anyway?"

The hunter drops his drawers bends over and says, "You're so smart, you tell me!"

RE: Jokes

I went to a seminar a while back at unc
The guy leading the seminar asked, how many people here have sex every day?
Quite a few raised their hands
He asked how many have sex 3 times a week
A lot raised their hands
He asked about once a week
once again a lot raised their hands How many have sex once a month just a few raised their hands He said, ok how many have sex once a year A big smile came on my face and I jumped up, waived my hands and shouted "Me, Me" He looked at me and said, how can you be so excited about having sex only once a year? I smiled and said " Tonight's the night

RE: Jokes

I went to a seminar a while back at unc
The guy leading the seminar asked, how many people here have sex every day?
Quite a few raised their hands
He asked how many have sex 3 times a week
A lot raised their hands
He asked about once a week
once again a lot raised their hands How many have sex once a month just a few raised their hands He said, ok how many have sex once a year A big smile came on my face and I jumped up, waived my hands and shouted "Me, Me" He looked at me and said, how can you be so excited about having sex only once a year? I smiled and said " Tonight's the night 

- Posted by Dreamchaser

Good one Dream but I hope you aren't flying solo :).