WRAL Sports Fan

RE: Jokes

One day in the future, Bill Clinton has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let you decide who leaves."

Clinton thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room. In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No," Bill said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."

So the devil led him to the next room. In it was Newt Gingrich with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented Bill.

The devil opened a third door. In it, Clinton saw Jesse Jackson lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Clinton took this in in disbelief and finally said, "Yea, I can handle this."

The devil smiled and said "OK, Monica, you're free to go!"

RE: Jokes

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term test.
The last question was, ''Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk,'' worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages.
He wrote:
1.) It’s the perfect formula for the child.
2.) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3.) It's always the right temperature.
4.) It's inexpensive. 5.) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa. 6.) It's always available as needed. And then, the student was stuck - he could not think of the 7th advantage. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote... 7.) It comes in two attractive reusable containers. He got an A+

RE: Jokes

wowowowowowowowowowowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. just wow. 

- Posted by jrj6950

The first definition was written for you. Have a nice day Cheech.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=politically%20correct 

- Posted by BBWAFRICANWOMAN

way to showcase that maturity. also, congrats on punching your 1st class ticket to the 9th rung of he!!. 

- Posted by jrj6950

Try not to tuck it anymore in public little man.

And now I'm going to go to he!!? LOL

16 years ago I beat ovarian cancer. Tell me I didn't and I will punch you in the face you feeble nimrod.

I bet you are one of those guys that wears a Duke hat, sweatshirt in the public. Most of those men are short twirpy looking dopes. Are you eyebrows an inch wide? Freak.  

- Posted by BBWAFRICANWOMAN

what is a bbwafricanwoman anyway?

RE: Jokes

Or actually sign someone anybody else wants. 

- Posted by heelman73

...man, these duke jokes are so funny! It's a shame the unc football recruits can't read or they could enjoy them too!

RE: Jokes

Carolina

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
ROF

RE: Jokes

After Unc plays Duke,Unc will have so many players on the disabled list the team bus can park in a handicapped space 

- Posted by grasshopperrtp2

That could happen before the game and Carolina would still win. 

- Posted by heelman73

Not when they play state ROF

RE: Jokes

Q: Why did Calamity Jane always get her man?

A: Because she had a big posse.

RE: Jokes

Q: Why did Calamity Jane always get her man?

A: Because she had a big posse. 

- Posted by tommybrownnc

Ooooh, Tommy - risque:)

RE: Jokes

Q: Why did Calamity Jane always get her man?

A: Because she had a big posse. 

- Posted by tommybrownnc

Ooooh, Tommy - risque:) 

- Posted by jgunn

I have to quote you and Tommy on this one. I grew up hearing some of these. Still funny.

HOW MANY IS THAT ROY?910 AND KOUNTING.....

This is the way I heard it.cuss was driving his 18 wheeler down I40,picked up lsmithazz.When out of the sleeper jump a monkey,lsmithazz asked whats with the monkey?cuss said watch,hit the monkey back of his head,monkey jumped down unzipped his pants give cuss some good head!Jumped back on the back of the seat.cuss asked lsmithazz do you want to try it?lsmithazz said he would love to,but please don't hit me as hard as you did the monkey.............