A man dies and goes to hell. When he gets there he looks around and there is ice and snow every where. He turns to a demon next to him and says I thought this place was supposed to be hot with fire every where. The demon turned to him, shrugged his shoulders and said I guess Duke won a football game.
Q. What stops Duke cheerleaders from going to Jenny Craig?
A. The door frame.
Q. What makes a Duke grad's eyes light up?
A. A flashlight in his ear.
Why do Unc football players go to family reunions?To meet girls. - Posted by grasshopperrtp2
That's a redneck joke so it should be directed at State :)
A guy's talking to a girl in a bar.
He says, "What's your name?"
She says, "Carmen."
He says, "That's a nice name. Who named you, your mother?"
She says, "No, I named myself."
He says, "Why Carmen?"
She says, "Because I like cars and I like men. What's your name?"
He says, "Beerf*ck."
Duke may win a football game this year. I saw a commercial on TV today that had a flying pig in it :)
Coach K goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you. Without hesitation, Coach K replies, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
Two UNC fans are trying to coax a mule into a barn but the door is too low and his ears rub. He stubbornly refuses to go in. A State fan passes by and decides to help. He suggests they get shovels and dig out beneath the door and then the mule would go in. The state fan leaves and one UNC fan turns to the other and says "see how stupid State fans are, the mule refuses to go in because his ears are too long not his legs."
A boy is taken from his home because of physical abuse. After being in the orphanage for a few weeks, he tells a social worker that he wants to leave. The social worker asks him, "Well, do you want to go back and live with your father again?"
"No," replies the boy. "He beats me."
The social worker says, "Do you want to live with your mother?"
The boy says, "No, she beats me too."
"Well, then," asks the social worker, "Who do you want to live with?"
The boy answers, "The Duke football team."
The social worker is taken aback. "Duke's football tam? Why do you want to live with them?"
"Because," replies the boy, "They don't beat anybody."
Why don't they celebrate Christmas on NC State's campus?
They can't find a virgin and three wise men
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