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  • heelman73 Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    View quoted thread


    :-)

  • grasshopperrtp2 Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    Why do Unc football players go to family reunions?To meet girls.

  • grasshopperrtp2 Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    Define:Asinine.That unc girl has a face thats a two but I give her asinine.

  • cdhodges81 Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    A professor at NC State is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely". To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence. The first student raised his hand and said "The sky is definitely blue". The professor said, "Well, that isn't entirely correct, because sometimes it's gray and cloudy".

    Another student says, "Grass is definitely green." The professor again replies "If grass doesn't get enough water it turns brown, so that isn't really correct either."

    Another student raises his hand and asks the professor "Do poots have lumps?" The professor looked at him and said "No...But that isn't really a question you want to ask in class discussion." So the student replies, "Then I definitely sh*t my pants."

  • cdhodges81 Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    Three Duke students go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

  • Dreamchaser Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    View quoted thread



    1-800-byA-babe

  • boheath Jun 10, 2010
    Veteran

    View quoted thread



    What do you call a State Athlete in a brand new car??????????
    A thief.

  • boheath Jun 10, 2010
    Veteran

    View quoted thread



    Where are these State Girls???? What are their phone numbers???????????????

  • Dreamchaser Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    What do you say to a Duke football player that crosses the goal line.
    You're in the wrong end zone dummy

  • Dreamchaser Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    View quoted thread



    Nothing funnier than a Duke fan trying to tell a joke :)

  • grasshopperrtp2 Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    HEY DREAM.YOUR FIRED !!!!LMAOROF

  • grasshopperrtp2 Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    Dreamchaser(A Unc fan)and Grasshopper(A Duke fan) decided to go into business together.After a long talk,they decided to open up a general store.They sold a little bit of everything.They got their building built and stocked with product.They had a grand opening.The morning of the grand opening,Grasshopper told Dreamchaser that he would take care of the first customer that walked into the store.Grasshopper said to Dreamchaser,"Dream,pay very very close attention how I handle this customer because the second customer will be yours.Dreamchaser responded,"OK Grasshopper.The first customer walked into the store and Grasshopper said,"Welcome sir to our grand opening.How may I help you?The customer said,"I need A 50 lbs. bag of grass seed.Grasshopper asked,"How big is your lawn?The customer said it was an acre.Grasshopper said you wll need 2 bags of grass seed.The man said,"OK".Grasshopper said,"Sir,to get that grass to grow you will need 2 bags of fertilizer.I have it on sale today.The man said,"ok"Grasshopper said,"Sir once you get that grass to grow,you will need to cut it.I have lawnmowers on sale today.The man said,"I do not have a lawnmower so yes".The man paid for his 2 bags of grass seed,2 bags of fertilizer and lawnmower,then left.Grasshopper said to Dream chaser,"Do you see Dream how we are going to conduct our business?Dreamchaser said,Yes I do Grasshopper".So Grasshopper told Dreamchaser,"The next customer that walks into the door you take care of them.Dreamchaser said,"OK Grasshopper.A few minutes later,a lady walks into the store.Dreamchaser said,"May I help you today".The lady said."Yes please.I need a box of tampons.Dreamchaser said,"I have them over here on the shelf and they are on sale today.Dreamchaser then asked the lady.'Would you like a lawnmower to go with that?The lady said,"Why would I need a lawnmower?Dreamchaser said,"Its obvious that you can't have sex so you might as well cut the grass :)!!!!!!!!

  • davidvanwagener Jun 10, 2010
    Veteran

    On a visit to North Carolina, the Pope is taking a boat tour of the Pamlico Sound when he sees a man out in the water, dressed in a UNC jersey, and being attacked by a shark. As the Pope is giving the man his last rights, he sees a boat quickly approach with three men dressed in Duke jerseys. When they reach the Tarheel fan, the Duke fans shoot the shark with a harpoon, freeing the Heels fan. They then proceed to pull the fan and the shark into the boat and kill the shark.
    Upon seeing this, the Pope yells to the fans, ”That is one of the most heroic things I have ever witnessed. I had heard that Blue Devil and Tarheel fans do not get along at all, but due to your expression of kindness towards another man, especially an enemy, I will ask God to give you all eternal peace and watch over you forever.”
    As the Pope sped off, one of the Duke fans in the boat turns to the others and says , “Who was that?” One of the others says, “That was the Pope, God’s right hand man on earth, so we should be honored to receive such a blessing.” Then the last Duke fan asks ”Well that’s great, but should we throw this bait back in, or get us another Tarhole fan?”

  • Dreamchaser Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    View quoted thread



    I was beginning to wonder why it was taking so long for someone to catch that one :)

  • davidvanwagener Jun 10, 2010
    Veteran

    View quoted thread


    Bad year to call Duke basketball a joke. Now UNC basketball ...

  • Dreamchaser Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    View quoted thread



    Ok I'll bite. Why?

  • grasshopperrtp2 Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    View quoted thread


    Hey Dream.Have you ever considered going into business for yourself?

  • grasshopperrtp2 Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    View quoted thread


    Michael Jackson alway wore one glove on one hand during his concerts.AKA-The Gloved One.New reports says they found his other glove.They found it in Roy's shorts.

  • cutclifferules Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    At NC State, what do you call a guy who leaves his gun at home?

    A liberal.

  • cutclifferules Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    View quoted thread


    Gayer. Imagine the lovechild of Christian Laettner and Ann Coulter. That gay.

  • bpayne812-take two Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    View quoted thread



    let the night crowd come in and see if they can turn it around, there is hope. I have jokes but they are not GOLO approved

  • bpayne812-take two Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    View quoted thread



    was it as gay as that?

  • Dreamchaser Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    Well I guess this went down hill fast. Shoot I was just looking for a laugh :(

  • Rdi73162 Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    View quoted thread


    huh?

  • bbcoach9596 Jun 10, 2010
    Veteran

    What did 1 state male tennis player say to another state women tennis player? Come to bed with me.She said hell no way, go to bed with your team mate boy.

  • cutclifferules Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    What did one Cameron Crazie say to the other?

    Something really gay.

  • Dreamchaser Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    View quoted thread



    LOL

  • grasshopperrtp2 Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    What is a Unc grad's most famous quote?Would you like fries with that?

  • Dreamchaser Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    A Duke family of basketball supporters headed out one Saturday to shop for the youngest boys birthday. While in the sports shop the son picks up a Kentucky jersey and says to his older sister, I've decided to become a Wildcat fan and I would like this Kentucky jersey for my birthday.
    His big sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him in the head and says, Go talk to mother.
    Off goes the little lad with the jersey in hand and finds his mother. Mom?
    Yes son?
    I've decided I'm going to be a Wildcat fan and I would like this jersey for my birthday
    The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him around the head and says, Go talk to your father!
    Off he goes with the Kentucky jersey in hand and finds his father. Dad? Yes son? I've decided I'm going to be a Wildcat fan and I would like this jersey for my birthday. The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head and says, No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT! About half an hour later they are all back in the car and heading towards home. The father turns to his son and says, Son, I hope you have learned something today The son says, Yes, Dad, I have. Good son, what is it? The son replies, I've only been a Kentucky fan for an hour and I already hate you Duke people. (sorry I had to change the last word)

  • Rdi73162 Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    View quoted thread


    the only thing with this is, pee on your fingers or not, you`re still nasty if you dont wash your hands......

  • cutclifferules Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    How many State girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    None, State girls screw in a pickup truck.

  • bpayne812-take two Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    View quoted thread



    why do you have to get personal and call names? Are you a five year old? Feel like a big boy running your mouth on a keyboard? I ain't hard to find cuz, just sayin. This was a fun thread until you showed up anyway. Let me guess you are a one upper? Everybody has done something but you've done it better. Where's your joke, you joke?

  • grasshopperrtp2 Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    A NC State lady,A Duke lady,and a Unc lady are all expecting their first child and are at the doctors office.The NC State lady says I am going to have a boy because I was on top.The Duke lady says im going to have a girl because I was on the bottom.The Unc lady starts crying.The two ladies ask her why are you crying?The Unc lady says"its because in going to have puppies" !!

  • grasshopperrtp2 Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    Why did the UNC grad keep staring at the orange juice carton?Because it said concentrate.

  • Dreamchaser Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    Why did Mo Duke cross the road?
    Who cares, why is he out of jail?

  • cutclifferules Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    View quoted thread


    You're on the right track, heelman.

    The answer is: The hot girl from UNC. Because the other three don't exist.

  • Dreamchaser Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    How do you get a Duke athlete to stop playing football?
    Put him in a game

  • heelman73 Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    Here's a better one:

    1995 3-8
    1996 0-11
    1997 2-9
    1998 4-7
    1999 3-8
    2000 0-11
    2001 0-11 2002 2-10 2003 4-8 2004 2-9 2005 1-10 2006 0-12 2007 1-11 2008 4-8 2009 5-7

  • thecarolinafan2 Jun 10, 2010
    Pro

    How do you get a Duke grad off your porch?

    Pay him for the pizza.

  • thecarolinafan2 Jun 10, 2010
    Pro

    What does a Duke grad call a UNC grad?

    Boss.

  • chapelthrill2007 Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    I have a joke-

    Duke basketball

    I have another joke-

    Duke football

    :)

  • heelman73 Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    View quoted thread


    That's a trick question. There are no hot girls from Duke.

  • cutclifferules Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    Brain teaser:

    A hot girl from UNC, a hot girl from Duke, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny all walk into a bar. Which one gets served first?

  • heelman73 Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    Here's a good one:

    2006 3-9
    2007 4-7
    2008 6-7
    2009 5-7

  • Dreamchaser Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    What do you say to a State athlete in a three piece suit?
    Would the defendant please rise.

  • Dreamchaser Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    View quoted thread



    You're right. Just trying to find a new joke or something to bring a smile

  • heelman73 Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    Just to spread it around a bit:

    A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good NC State joke?"

    The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a NC State grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's a NC State grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's a NC State grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"

    The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."

  • BeastOnTheHill Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    View quoted thread



    d00k has football players who know what beer is?

  • heelman73 Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    View quoted thread


    Well, if you're not first, you're just a ... BDF.

  • BeastOnTheHill Jun 10, 2010
    Sports Legend

    View quoted thread



    I do like that one but in a week or so, DBF or BigPain will have it reversed and we'll have to read it the other way around.

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