Jerry Bonkowski

Gordon hoping to 'win one for the stache'

Posted September 11, 2012

In the world of sports, we've heard of winning for the Gipper, for the fans, for sick kids, for our armed service members and even players selfishly saying they want to win only for themselves – and the big paycheck that goes along with it.

But I don't think we've ever heard of "win one for the 'stache." Yet, Jeff Gordon has decided that will be his rallying cry as he attempts to return to his successful days of old for two very intertwined reasons.

The way Gordon sees it, if he grows a mustache similar to the one he had early in his illustrious career, it possibly may bring back the equally illustrious success he had way back when – and potentially wind up being the difference between a so-so showing and ultimately winning the championship in the upcoming Chase for the Sprint Cup.

The "movement" has already gained a lot of traction since Gordon announced he would stop shaving after spectacularly racing his way into the Chase at this past Saturday's race at Richmond. No question, the way he rallied to knock Kyle Busch from making the Chase was classic Gordon – like when he used to sport a mustache.

It's not much of a surprise to see Gordon's logic: Jimmie Johnson grew a beard two years into his five consecutive Cup championships. And then Dale Earnhardt Jr. grew a beard that, while it may not have been the good luck charm he had hoped it to be at the outset, it finally did lead to him breaking his 143-race losing streak earlier this year.

Of course, what did Junior do not too long ago? He shaved off his beard, which could wind up being a move that comes back to haunt him in the upcoming Chase.

But Gordon wearing a mustache for the first time in, what, 15 years or more? Hey, if it inspires him and his fans to success, why not?

I love all the talk on Twitter that has been going on the last few days – I've even good naturedly taken part in what-if's on what Gordon's facial hair should look like (check out @GordonsMustache).

Some say he should go back to the same 'stache he had when he first came onto the Cup scene 20 years ago.

Others are having far too much fun with this, suggesting he grow a handlebar mustache much like Major League pitcher Rollie Fingers sported in the '80s with the Oakland A's.

But Jeff, if you read this, take a bit of advice: to maintain a handlebar mustache not only takes a great deal of time and effort, do you have ANY idea what mustache wax will do to the inside of your helmet? Let's say your car trades paint and bags fenders with Denny Hamlin or Tony Stewart or even Earnhardt or Johnson. Even with the HANS device that is supposed to keep your helmet and head securely in place, just the slightest bit of beating and banging will spread that wax all over the inside of your helmet, potentially even up onto the visor.

Boy, what a mess that would make!

But with Gordon's decision to throw his razor away for the time being, I, on the other hand, think he should make a radical departure from his All-American, clean-shaven look.

We all know how intimidating the late Dale Earnhardt was with his trademark dark black cookie duster. Had Earnhardt raced without a mustache, his equally famous scowl wouldn't have carried nearly as much weight and impact in the intimidation department.

And that's where Gordon needs to look for inspiration. If a mustache was as much of Earnhardt's calling card as was his impeccable use of the so-called chrome horn, then Gordon needs to go as far out as he possibly can.

Here's what I suggest, Jeff:

First, forget just a simple mustache. You need something vibrant, something that stands out, something that's … well, yes, intimidating like Earnhardt.

So, forget the namby-pamby upper lip covering and instead go for the mean, I'll-kick-your-butt look of a Fu Manchu. Granted, with your physical frame resembling more of a jockey than a linebacker, you'll have to make some concessions. Still, if a Fu Manchu works for guys like Hulk Hogan or former Major League pitching ace Rich "Goose" Gossage, I think it can give Gordon some of the desired effect he's hoping to achieve.

Second, shave your head. Now, that may be a radical approach, but Jeff Gordon with a shaved head and a Fu Manchu 'stache will only look all the more angry and intimidating. And after all, Gordon has every right to be angry: he hasn't won a Cup championship in 11 years, since 2001.

Third, Gordon needs to visit a tattoo parlor and get something that really stands out – although it will be covered by his firesuit when he's behind the wheel (unless he decides to replicate Mike Tyson's attempt at "body art" on his face – which would be a bad idea all the way around). Still, wouldn't you love to see Gordon have maybe a skull and crossbow tatt on one arm and a heart with wife Ingrid's name scrolled across it.

Or maybe the names of Ingrid and their two kids, Ella and Leo.

But with a Fu Manchu and maybe a shaved head, I'm willing to bend on a bit on the kind of tattoo he gets: If he doesn't want it to be a permanent fixture to his body, Gordon could always get one of those henna tattoos that kids stick on their skin (only to usually wash off in a few days).

Alright, all kidding aside, if Gordon wants to grow a mustache, more power to him. If it inspires him and, more importantly, his team, all the better. Hey, maybe crew chief Alan Gustafson and the rest of the crew might decide to let their facial hair grow in a show of support.

And then Gordon and his team would go from being the fabled Rainbow Warriors to, maybe, the Hairy Warriors (I know, it's a reach) or how about Cookie Dusters? I can just see the headline now: "Cookie Dusters win Cup championship."

Or maybe the most inspirational thing of all: no one on the No. 24 team, including Gordon, shaves until they win a championship. Of course, that could backfire and may never happen, but that's a whole other story for a whole other time.

So, go on, Jeff, if you want to go out and win one for the 'stache, and if it leads to you finally getting that long-elusive fifth career Cup championship, more power to you.

And if you don't, maybe you can pick up Gillette as your next sponsor.

4 Comments

Please with your WRAL.com account to comment on this story. You also will need a Facebook account to comment.

Oldest First
View all
  • justabumer Sep 11, 2012

    I once worked at a school where the football coach announced that he wouldn't shave until the team won a game. Some time later he learned that no one cared whether or not he shaved - and he still had a very bad ball team.

  • kornfan2448 Sep 11, 2012

    Awesome!

  • pab7165 Sep 11, 2012

    Geesh....did I just read an article about Jeff Gordon growing facial hair.
    Dang I wish I could get those five minutes back....lol

  • MarcoPolo Sep 11, 2012

    Gotta say it.....who cares?

Listen & Watch
  • HighSchoolOT Live

    Friday at 7:00 pm on WRAL-2

  • Football Friday

    Friday at 11:35 pm on WRAL-TV

  • ACC Football: Pittsburgh @ Georgia Tech

    Saturday at 12:00 pm on WRAL-TV

  • Logan Zone

    Sunday at 11:00 am on WRAL-TV

  • Golf: The Tour Championship

    Sunday at 1:30 pm on WRAL-TV

  • NFL: Oakland @ Washington

    Friday, Sep. 29 at 8:30 pm on WRAL-TV

  • The David Cutcliffe Show

    Tonight at 7:00 on Buzz Sports Radio

  • AAA Baseball Championship Game

    Tonight at 7:00 on 99.9 The Fan

  • The Dave Doeren Show

    Tomorrow at 7:00 pm on 99.9 The Fan

AP Top 25
Thu, Sept 21
4:30 PT5:30 MT6:30 CT7:30 ET11:30 GMT7:30 北京时间4:30 MST6:30 EST
Preview
21
Fri, Sept 22
23
7:30 PT8:30 MT9:30 CT10:30 ET2:30 GMT10:30 北京时间7:30 MST9:30 EST
Preview
Sat, Sept 23
9:00 PT10:00 MT11:00 CT12:00 ET4:00 GMT12:00 北京时间9:00 MST11:00 EST
12
9:00 PT10:00 MT11:00 CT12:00 ET4:00 GMT12:00 北京时间9:00 MST11:00 EST
19
9:00 PT10:00 MT11:00 CT12:00 ET4:00 GMT12:00 北京时间9:00 MST11:00 EST
10
11:00 PT12:00 MT1:00 CT2:00 ET6:00 GMT2:00 北京时间11:00 MST1:00 EST
13
5
12:30 PT1:30 MT2:30 CT3:30 ET7:30 GMT3:30 北京时间12:30 MST2:30 EST
12:30 PT1:30 MT2:30 CT3:30 ET7:30 GMT3:30 北京时间12:30 MST2:30 EST
2
12:30 PT1:30 MT2:30 CT3:30 ET7:30 GMT3:30 北京时间12:30 MST2:30 EST
14
16
12:30 PT1:30 MT2:30 CT3:30 ET7:30 GMT3:30 北京时间12:30 MST2:30 EST
6
1
12:30 PT1:30 MT2:30 CT3:30 ET7:30 GMT3:30 北京时间12:30 MST2:30 EST
8
1:00 PT2:00 MT3:00 CT4:00 ET8:00 GMT4:00 北京时间1:00 MST3:00 EST
3:00 PT4:00 MT5:00 CT6:00 ET10:00 GMT6:00 北京时间3:00 MST5:00 EST
18
3
3:30 PT4:30 MT5:30 CT6:30 ET10:30 GMT6:30 北京时间3:30 MST5:30 EST
22
4:00 PT5:00 MT6:00 CT7:00 ET11:00 GMT7:00 北京时间4:00 MST6:00 EST
17
4:00 PT5:00 MT6:00 CT7:00 ET11:00 GMT7:00 北京时间4:00 MST6:00 EST
11
4:00 PT5:00 MT6:00 CT7:00 ET11:00 GMT7:00 北京时间4:00 MST6:00 EST
25
4
4:30 PT5:30 MT6:30 CT7:30 ET11:30 GMT7:30 北京时间4:30 MST6:30 EST
20
4:30 PT5:30 MT6:30 CT7:30 ET11:30 GMT7:30 北京时间4:30 MST6:30 EST
15
4:30 PT5:30 MT6:30 CT7:30 ET11:30 GMT7:30 北京时间4:30 MST6:30 EST
24
7:00 PT8:00 MT9:00 CT10:00 ET2:00 GMT10:00 北京时间7:00 MST9:00 EST
7
7:00 PT8:00 MT9:00 CT10:00 ET2:00 GMT10:00 北京时间7:00 MST9:00 EST
NFL Scoreboard
Thursday, Sep. 21
LA Rams 5:25 PT6:25 MT7:25 CT8:25 ET0:25 GMT8:25 5:25 MST7:25 EST7:25 CT4:25 UAE (+1)20:25 ETNaN:�
San Francisco 
Sunday, Sep. 24
Baltimore 6:30 PT7:30 MT8:30 CT9:30 ET13:30 GMT21:30 6:30 MST8:30 EST8:30 CT17:30 UAE9:30 ETNaN:�
Jacksonville 
Denver 10:00 PT11:00 MT12:00 CT1:00 ET17:00 GMT1:00 10:00 MST12:00 EST12:00 CT21:00 UAE13:00 ETNaN:�
Buffalo 
New Orleans 10:00 PT11:00 MT12:00 CT1:00 ET17:00 GMT1:00 10:00 MST12:00 EST12:00 CT21:00 UAE13:00 ETNaN:�
Carolina 
Pittsburgh 10:00 PT11:00 MT12:00 CT1:00 ET17:00 GMT1:00 10:00 MST12:00 EST12:00 CT21:00 UAE13:00 ETNaN:�
Chicago 
Atlanta 10:00 PT11:00 MT12:00 CT1:00 ET17:00 GMT1:00 10:00 MST12:00 EST12:00 CT21:00 UAE13:00 ETNaN:�
Detroit 
Cleveland 10:00 PT11:00 MT12:00 CT1:00 ET17:00 GMT1:00 10:00 MST12:00 EST12:00 CT21:00 UAE13:00 ETNaN:�
Indianapolis 
Tampa Bay 10:00 PT11:00 MT12:00 CT1:00 ET17:00 GMT1:00 10:00 MST12:00 EST12:00 CT21:00 UAE13:00 ETNaN:�
Minnesota 
Houston 10:00 PT11:00 MT12:00 CT1:00 ET17:00 GMT1:00 10:00 MST12:00 EST12:00 CT21:00 UAE13:00 ETNaN:�
New England 
Miami 10:00 PT11:00 MT12:00 CT1:00 ET17:00 GMT1:00 10:00 MST12:00 EST12:00 CT21:00 UAE13:00 ETNaN:�
NY Jets 
NY Giants 10:00 PT11:00 MT12:00 CT1:00 ET17:00 GMT1:00 10:00 MST12:00 EST12:00 CT21:00 UAE13:00 ETNaN:�
Philadelphia 
Seattle 1:05 PT2:05 MT3:05 CT4:05 ET20:05 GMT4:05 1:05 MST3:05 EST3:05 CT0:05 UAE (+1)16:05 ETNaN:�
Tennessee 
Cincinnati 1:25 PT2:25 MT3:25 CT4:25 ET20:25 GMT4:25 1:25 MST3:25 EST3:25 CT0:25 UAE (+1)16:25 ETNaN:�
Green Bay 
Kansas City 1:25 PT2:25 MT3:25 CT4:25 ET20:25 GMT4:25 1:25 MST3:25 EST3:25 CT0:25 UAE (+1)16:25 ETNaN:�
LA Chargers 
Oakland 5:30 PT6:30 MT7:30 CT8:30 ET0:30 GMT8:30 5:30 MST7:30 EST7:30 CT4:30 UAE (+1)20:30 ETNaN:�
Washington 
Monday, Sep. 25
Dallas 5:30 PT6:30 MT7:30 CT8:30 ET0:30 GMT8:30 5:30 MST7:30 EST7:30 CT4:30 UAE (+1)20:30 ETNaN:�
Arizona 
NHL Preseason
Florida17:00
1st
Nashville0
Chicago 4:00 PT5:00 MT6:00 CT7:00 ET23:00 GMT7:00 4:00 MST6:00 EST3:00 UAE (+1)19:00 ETNaN:� BRT
Columbus 
Detroit 4:00 PT5:00 MT6:00 CT7:00 ET23:00 GMT7:00 4:00 MST6:00 EST3:00 UAE (+1)19:00 ETNaN:� BRT
Boston 
Pittsburgh 4:00 PT5:00 MT6:00 CT7:00 ET23:00 GMT7:00 4:00 MST6:00 EST3:00 UAE (+1)19:00 ETNaN:� BRT
Buffalo 
Carolina 4:30 PT5:30 MT6:30 CT7:30 ET23:30 GMT7:30 4:30 MST6:30 EST3:30 UAE (+1)19:30 ETNaN:� BRT
Tampa Bay 
Ottawa 4:30 PT5:30 MT6:30 CT7:30 ET23:30 GMT7:30 4:30 MST6:30 EST3:30 UAE (+1)19:30 ETNaN:� BRT
Toronto 
Florida 5:00 PT6:00 MT7:00 CT8:00 ET0:00 GMT8:00 5:00 MST7:00 EST4:00 UAE (+1)20:00 ETNaN:� BRT
Nashville 
St. Louis 5:30 PT6:30 MT7:30 CT8:30 ET0:30 GMT8:30 5:30 MST7:30 EST4:30 UAE (+1)20:30 ETNaN:� BRT
Dallas 
Vegas 6:00 PT7:00 MT8:00 CT9:00 ET1:00 GMT9:00 6:00 MST8:00 EST5:00 UAE (+1)21:00 ETNaN:� BRT
Colorado 
Anaheim 7:00 PT8:00 MT9:00 CT10:00 ET2:00 GMT10:00 7:00 MST9:00 EST6:00 UAE (+1)22:00 ETNaN:� BRT
San Jose 
MLB Scoreboard
Interleague
Chi Cubs04:10 PT5:10 MT6:10 CT7:10 ET19:10 ET23:10 GMT7:10 4:10 MST6:10 EST6:40 VEN3:10 UAE (+1)6:10 CT
Preview
Tampa Bay0
American League
Boston04:05 PT5:05 MT6:05 CT7:05 ET19:05 ET23:05 GMT7:05 4:05 MST6:05 EST6:35 VEN3:05 UAE (+1)6:05 CT
Preview
Baltimore0
Minnesota04:05 PT5:05 MT6:05 CT7:05 ET19:05 ET23:05 GMT7:05 4:05 MST6:05 EST6:35 VEN3:05 UAE (+1)6:05 CT
Preview
NY Yankees0
Kansas City04:07 PT5:07 MT6:07 CT7:07 ET19:07 ET23:07 GMT7:07 4:07 MST6:07 EST6:37 VEN3:07 UAE (+1)6:07 CT
Preview
Toronto0
Oakland04:10 PT5:10 MT6:10 CT7:10 ET19:10 ET23:10 GMT7:10 4:10 MST6:10 EST6:40 VEN3:10 UAE (+1)6:10 CT
Preview
Detroit0
Chi White Sox05:10 PT6:10 MT7:10 CT8:10 ET20:10 ET0:10 GMT8:10 5:10 MST7:10 EST7:40 VEN4:10 UAE (+1)7:10 CT
Preview
Houston0
Cleveland 7:08 PT8:08 MT9:08 CT10:08 ET22:08 ET2:08 GMT10:08 7:08 MST9:08 EST9:38 VEN6:08 UAE (+1)9:08 CT
Preview
LA Angels 
Texas 7:10 PT8:10 MT9:10 CT10:10 ET22:10 ET2:10 GMT10:10 7:10 MST9:10 EST9:40 VEN6:10 UAE (+1)9:10 CT
Preview
Seattle 
National League
LA Dodgers04:05 PT5:05 MT6:05 CT7:05 ET19:05 ET23:05 GMT7:05 4:05 MST6:05 EST6:35 VEN3:05 UAE (+1)6:05 CT
Preview
Philadelphia0
Milwaukee04:05 PT5:05 MT6:05 CT7:05 ET19:05 ET23:05 GMT7:05 4:05 MST6:05 EST6:35 VEN3:05 UAE (+1)6:05 CT
Preview
Pittsburgh0
St. Louis04:10 PT5:10 MT6:10 CT7:10 ET19:10 ET23:10 GMT7:10 4:10 MST6:10 EST6:40 VEN3:10 UAE (+1)6:10 CT
Preview
Cincinnati0
NY Mets04:10 PT5:10 MT6:10 CT7:10 ET19:10 ET23:10 GMT7:10 4:10 MST6:10 EST6:40 VEN3:10 UAE (+1)6:10 CT
Preview
Miami0
Washington04:35 PT5:35 MT6:35 CT7:35 ET19:35 ET23:35 GMT7:35 4:35 MST6:35 EST7:05 VEN3:35 UAE (+1)6:35 CT
Preview
Atlanta0
Arizona 7:10 PT8:10 MT9:10 CT10:10 ET22:10 ET2:10 GMT10:10 7:10 MST9:10 EST9:40 VEN6:10 UAE (+1)9:10 CT
Preview
San Diego 
Colorado 7:15 PT8:15 MT9:15 CT10:15 ET22:15 ET2:15 GMT10:15 7:15 MST9:15 EST9:45 VEN6:15 UAE (+1)9:15 CT
Preview
San Francisco 
Minor League Baseball
International League
Memphis 4:07 PT5:07 MT6:07 CT7:07 ET12:07 GMT
Durham 
BMW Championship (PGA)
PosNameScoreThru
1M. Leishman-23F
2tR. Fowler-18F
2tJ. Rose-18F
4J. Day-16F
5tM. Kuchar-15F
5tJ. Rahm-15F
7tT. Finau-13F
7tJ. Spieth-13F
9tP. Cantlay-12F
9tA. Lahiri-12F
View Full Leaderboard
 
Evian Champ (LPGA)
PosNameScoreThru
1A. Nordqvist - z-9F
2B. Altomare - y-9F
3tM. Jutanugarn-8F
3tK. Kirk-8F
3tL. Ko-8F
6tS. Feng-7F
6tS. Kim-7F
8J. Song-6F
9M. Lee-5F
10tG. Hall-4F
View Full Leaderboard
z = Won in Playoff   y = Lost in Playoff
 
ATP Scoreboard
Tuesday, Sep. 19
St. Petersburg Open (ATP)
First Round
R. Berankis3 6 6   
D. Masur6 3 2   
E. Gulbis3 0    
L. Broady6 6    
J. Smith66 4    
M. Youzhny78 6    
(7) V. Troicki78 77    
A. Kuznetsov66 62    
 
Moselle Open (ATP)
First Round
N. Basilashvi2 77 6   
V. Millot6 65 4   
Y. Maden6 3 6   
N. Kicker4 6 3   
S. Bolelli69 6 68   
M. Granollers711 3 710   
(7) B. Paire6 6    
S. Tsitsipas2 4    
N. Gombos6 64 3   
P. Gojowczyk3 77 6   
(6) R. Gasquet6 4 4   
D. Istomin1 6 6   
N. Almagro77 7    
J. Benneteau63 5    
 
WTA Scoreboard
Tuesday, Sep. 19
Guangzhou Women's Open (WTA)
First Round
A. Rodionova63 6 0   
E. Rodina77 3 6   
(5) E. Mertens2 65    
Y. Wang6 77    
K. Zhang2 6 6   
J. Fett6 1 3   
L. Cabrera6 7    
X. Gao3 5    
(7) S. Stosur78 3 5   
X. Han66 6 7   
(6) A. Cornet4 6 6   
B. Pera6 2 2   
(2) S. Zhang6 6    
X. You1 0    
(1) S. Peng77 1 6   
O. Jabeur64 6 3   
 
Korea Open (WTA)
First Round
N. Hibino6 6    
K. Chang2 4    
S. Jang3 5    
N. Gibbs6 7    
(2) K. Bertens7 4 3   
R. Hogenkamp5 6 6   
(1) J. Ostapenko78 6    
J. Larsson66 1    
(8) C. McHale3 4    
A. Rus6 6    
Second Round
L. Kumkhum 
E. Alexandrov 
D. Allertova 
R. Hogenkamp 
 
Toray Pan Pacific Open (WTA)
First Round
S. Hsieh6 1 1   
M. Puig2 6 6   
(9) C. Garcia6 6    
A. Sasnovich4 3    
M. Linette2 6 77   
D. Gavrilova6 0 63   
(5) D. Cibulkova6 6    
C. Suarez Nav3 3    
K. Siniakova1 6 6   
J. Cepelova6 3 4   
R. Ozaki2 65    
S. Rogers6 77    
M. Rybarikova64 62    
B. Strycova77 77    
Second Round
Q. Wang 
A. Pavlyuchen